这么快，summer也即将完结了呢
去年的这个时候，在岛上颠沛流离的过活着，等着三天之后开放的waiting list，终究还是讨到一个地方落脚
想想那半年中发生的种种，从未能拿到的visa，到阴差阳错的走上另外一条路，FoE死女人的纠缠，arashi的邂逅，RealAcad的一周，还有被蜈蚣蜇到啊海鲜过敏啊辣椒过敏啊等等等等仿佛一辈子的事件都出现了。
Life is still as fast-changing as always, up and running. As you turn the pages of the past and the present, when memories of all the things which you have encountered in life, be it beautiful or horrible, full of happiness or of sorrow, when they strikes your head without giving much warning, when you start reflecting about the past few years you have been though.. how difficult it is to describe such feelings.
Well there is something that stands still through: 如人饮水，冷暖自知. I like this line so much as it translates a rather complex philosophy into such a simple metaphor.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
depression
I think
I have been under such a depression lately
that I can't do any work
can't concentrate
can't think clearly
though
I hear my inner self shouting:
Hey!
Do your work! be professional!
What's up in your mind?
Do you wanna die??
all these sounds
mixing up
just that
there's nothing I can do to help it
I have been under such a depression lately
that I can't do any work
can't concentrate
can't think clearly
though
I hear my inner self shouting:
Hey!
Do your work! be professional!
What's up in your mind?
Do you wanna die??
all these sounds
mixing up
just that
there's nothing I can do to help it
練 習 Ⅱ Learnig II - from alang
Learning not to cry
Learning to be calm
Learning to be stronger
However, the most difficult learning
is when it has become no longer a learning
練習著不再哭 練習著更冷靜 練習著要堅強 而最難的練習 是當它不再只是練習的時候
The mans starts to learn not to be angry
starts to learn not to fall in love easily
starts to learn to cherish the plain things
The man starts to learn a lot, and work harder a lot
男人開始練習不再隨便生氣
男人開始練習不再隨便動心
男人開始練習怎麼珍惜那些習以為常的東西
男人開始練習很多很多，也開始努力很多很多
But the only thing he can't learn, and he can't be sure
而男人唯一練習不了的，唯一沒有把握的
就是
is how to believe that he can always do it
如何去相信自己永遠都做的到。
Learning to be calm
Learning to be stronger
However, the most difficult learning
is when it has become no longer a learning
練習著不再哭 練習著更冷靜 練習著要堅強 而最難的練習 是當它不再只是練習的時候
The mans starts to learn not to be angry
starts to learn not to fall in love easily
starts to learn to cherish the plain things
The man starts to learn a lot, and work harder a lot
男人開始練習不再隨便生氣
男人開始練習不再隨便動心
男人開始練習怎麼珍惜那些習以為常的東西
男人開始練習很多很多，也開始努力很多很多
But the only thing he can't learn, and he can't be sure
而男人唯一練習不了的，唯一沒有把握的
就是
is how to believe that he can always do it
如何去相信自己永遠都做的到。
練 習 Ⅰ Learning I - from alang
About LEARNING
I'm sorry
I am still learning how to explain it
關於這兩個字 對不起 我還在練習怎麼解釋它
The woman starts to learn watching movie alone
starts to learn going shopping alone
starts to learn going to bed alone
starts to learn changing the light bulb alone
starts to learn walking in the dark alley alone, not feeling scared
starts to learn waking up from nightmares in the middle of the night, not crying
The woman starts to learn a lot, and she did so
女人開始練習一個人看電影
女人開始練習一個人逛街
女人開始練習一個人睡覺
女人開始練習一個人換燈泡
女人開始練習一個人走過暗暗的小巷不要害怕
女人開始練習一個人半夜從惡夢裡醒來不要哭泣
女人開始練習很多很多，也開始學會很多很多
But the only thing she can't learn, and will never learn
而女人唯一練習不了的，唯一學不會的
is how to believe in love again
就是如何再相信愛情！
I'm sorry
I am still learning how to explain it
關於這兩個字 對不起 我還在練習怎麼解釋它
The woman starts to learn watching movie alone
starts to learn going shopping alone
starts to learn going to bed alone
starts to learn changing the light bulb alone
starts to learn walking in the dark alley alone, not feeling scared
starts to learn waking up from nightmares in the middle of the night, not crying
The woman starts to learn a lot, and she did so
女人開始練習一個人看電影
女人開始練習一個人逛街
女人開始練習一個人睡覺
女人開始練習一個人換燈泡
女人開始練習一個人走過暗暗的小巷不要害怕
女人開始練習一個人半夜從惡夢裡醒來不要哭泣
女人開始練習很多很多，也開始學會很多很多
But the only thing she can't learn, and will never learn
而女人唯一練習不了的，唯一學不會的
is how to believe in love again
就是如何再相信愛情！
練習 Learning- from alang
We are all learning, all the time. It's hard not to--because even to run away, how to run away, to run away completely, we need to learn.
我們都在練習，無時無刻的練習，想不練習都很難，因為連逃避、怎麼逃避、完全的逃避、也需要很辛苦的練習
We are trying so hard to learn, subconsciously, to be free, to be resolved, to understand, to be stronger, to be complete.
But for learning, it will never end.
我們拚命或不自覺的練習著，好讓我們有一天，終於自在了、釋懷了、解決了、明白了、更強了、完成了
但練習，是永遠練習不完的
Learning to think, and you will need to learn not to think to much
練習會了思考，就得開始練習什麼時候不該想太多
Learning not to be hurt, and you will need to learn not to hurt others
練習會了不再輕易被別人傷害，才發現又該練習怎麼不去輕易的傷害別人
Learning to be stronger, and you will start learning to forgive
練習會了自己要堅強，就開始練習對別人原諒
Learning to be confident, and you will start learning to be modest
練習會了自信，就開始練習謙虛
Learning to earn, and you will have to learn how to spend
練習會了賺錢，就又得練習錢怎麼花
Learning to stand under the lime light, and you will have to learn how to hide in the quite and dark corner
練習會了站在最亮眼的地方，才發現還得練習怎麼適時地躲在安靜的暗處
Learning to forget, and you will need to learn the emptiness that comes after
練習會了遺忘，又得練習自己什麼感覺都沒有的空虛
Learning about the beautiful things, and you will need to learn how to maintain
and learn how to leave, how to face them, when you no longer wish to maintain
練習怎麼美好，又得練習怎麼維持
然後練習不想維持時怎麼離開、練習再也不能維持時怎麼面對
For me
most of the learning, is not purely for myself
they are all about others
對我來說，大部分的練習，都不是最純粹的自己，都跟自己以外的事物有關
Because we start to learn for how the others see us, and then start to learn how to see them
因為別人怎麼對我們怎麼看我們而開始練習、也練習自己該怎麼看別人怎麼對別人
How have I been learning?
I ask myself sometimes. The self who seems to learn everything so well.
我練習得很好嗎？我有時這麼問自己，問那個看起來好像什麼都可以練習的很好的自己
In fact, I know
I have not been learning well enough
not at all
Because I did't want to learn at all
Because when I am learning, I am learning upon the others
其實我知道一點也不好
因為我不想練習
因為在我練習的時候，就等於也拿了別人來練習
But still, I have to keep learning
Because that's the only thing I can do
Because there are so many things
that I don't know
但我還是得不停的練習
因為我就是只能練習
因為我很多的事都不懂
How have I been learning?
I ask myself sometimes. The self who thinks I haven't been learning anything well enough
and then, before knowing the answer
I hear myself saying
我練習得很好嗎？我有時這麼問自己，問那個心裡總是覺得什麼都練習的不夠好的自己
然後，在還沒聽到答案的然後，就聽見自己說
Good luck, you have been learning better
than yesterday
加油，你已經比昨天練習的更好了
我們都在練習，無時無刻的練習，想不練習都很難，因為連逃避、怎麼逃避、完全的逃避、也需要很辛苦的練習
We are trying so hard to learn, subconsciously, to be free, to be resolved, to understand, to be stronger, to be complete.
But for learning, it will never end.
我們拚命或不自覺的練習著，好讓我們有一天，終於自在了、釋懷了、解決了、明白了、更強了、完成了
但練習，是永遠練習不完的
Learning to think, and you will need to learn not to think to much
練習會了思考，就得開始練習什麼時候不該想太多
Learning not to be hurt, and you will need to learn not to hurt others
練習會了不再輕易被別人傷害，才發現又該練習怎麼不去輕易的傷害別人
Learning to be stronger, and you will start learning to forgive
練習會了自己要堅強，就開始練習對別人原諒
Learning to be confident, and you will start learning to be modest
練習會了自信，就開始練習謙虛
Learning to earn, and you will have to learn how to spend
練習會了賺錢，就又得練習錢怎麼花
Learning to stand under the lime light, and you will have to learn how to hide in the quite and dark corner
練習會了站在最亮眼的地方，才發現還得練習怎麼適時地躲在安靜的暗處
Learning to forget, and you will need to learn the emptiness that comes after
練習會了遺忘，又得練習自己什麼感覺都沒有的空虛
Learning about the beautiful things, and you will need to learn how to maintain
and learn how to leave, how to face them, when you no longer wish to maintain
練習怎麼美好，又得練習怎麼維持
然後練習不想維持時怎麼離開、練習再也不能維持時怎麼面對
For me
most of the learning, is not purely for myself
they are all about others
對我來說，大部分的練習，都不是最純粹的自己，都跟自己以外的事物有關
Because we start to learn for how the others see us, and then start to learn how to see them
因為別人怎麼對我們怎麼看我們而開始練習、也練習自己該怎麼看別人怎麼對別人
How have I been learning?
I ask myself sometimes. The self who seems to learn everything so well.
我練習得很好嗎？我有時這麼問自己，問那個看起來好像什麼都可以練習的很好的自己
In fact, I know
I have not been learning well enough
not at all
Because I did't want to learn at all
Because when I am learning, I am learning upon the others
其實我知道一點也不好
因為我不想練習
因為在我練習的時候，就等於也拿了別人來練習
But still, I have to keep learning
Because that's the only thing I can do
Because there are so many things
that I don't know
但我還是得不停的練習
因為我就是只能練習
因為我很多的事都不懂
How have I been learning?
I ask myself sometimes. The self who thinks I haven't been learning anything well enough
and then, before knowing the answer
I hear myself saying
我練習得很好嗎？我有時這麼問自己，問那個心裡總是覺得什麼都練習的不夠好的自己
然後，在還沒聽到答案的然後，就聽見自己說
Good luck, you have been learning better
than yesterday
加油，你已經比昨天練習的更好了
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Arlanda Express
之前还一直笑着的，当车门关上的时候也是笑着的，等到火车开始移动看着人影变的越来越小越来越小一下子鼻子就酸了。转头往回走的时候想起借同事的雨伞忘在座位上没有拿。真得是好郁闷好郁闷>_<
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
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